How EFT Works for Couples
What is an EFT therapy session like?
We collaborate and consult with you to uncover patterns that lead to fighting and defensiveness, while developing new ways of relating and communicating. We work with both partners to build a supportive relationship by fostering the underlying feelings that first brought you into the relationship. Therapy sessions will provide a safe, responsive place to discuss issues including sexuality and infidelity. Our goal is to create a safe supportive bond between partners.
A practical guide for the public with ideas, vignettes, and exercises based in EFT.
How is EFT different from other couples therapies?
EFT has extensive research that supports its effectiveness. Scientific research studies show that over 70 percent of couples in EFT went from distressed to happy, and 90 percent significantly improved, in 15 to 20 sessions. Perhaps more important, the results were stable two years later. Many other couples therapies provide improvement in about 35 percent of couples by the end of treatment; of those, between 30 and 50 percent relapse within two years.
How long will it take?
The length of your therapy will depend on how deep your conflicts are and how receptive both of you are to therapy. You may need fewer sessions to get back on track, or you may invest in more sessions to get to deeper problems that keep affecting your relationship. Couples therapy generally takes more then ten sessions and fewer then twenty. However, your assessment and treatment plan will be unique to you as a couple, and we will collaborate with you on how much time is appropriate for you.
What if it's too late?
It's hard after you've invested yourself in a relationship and get to this point. Even if you are ending your relationship, therapy can give you a healthier, less destructive way to close it. And therapy may help you find new solutions to the problems that made the relationship become so troubled.
What if one partner won't come in?
Sometimes it's less difficult to agree to just four or five sessions. Then if therapy is helpful you can continue.
Can EFT help if there was an affair?
We know it takes time to recover from affairs. No one is pressured to forgive their partner if they're not ready. But it is possible for many couples to heal what's happened.
Will you tell us whose fault it is?
Our role is not to be referees. Instead we work to find both partners' part in the "dance" of your relationship, so you can discover together where you may want to change.
Is EFT appropriate for all kinds of couples?
Yes, all types of couples, with all types of cultural backgrounds, can benefit from EFT. EFT is used all over the globe with clients of different ethnicities and religions, and with gay and lesbian couples.
How do I find a therapist trained in EFT?
Find Washington therapists skilled in EFT, from Bellingham to Vancouver, in this site's Find a Therapist directory.